Sunday, June 27, 2010

All Apologies

I did this guest post here at Preeti's blog last week.
And then Atrisa has tagged me with honest scrap here. Thank you Atrisa :P.

The post fits in well (since it's of confessional nature) with the tag. So here goes :

All Apologies:

1. Apologies Led Zeppelin, for using one of your songs in a game of Antakshari. Couldn’t help it, the opposite team had stooped to using regional songs. It was “Stairway to Heaven”. “The” se gaana tha.

2. Apologies Rats. I persuaded a friend of mine to study biology. He has dissected hundreds of your lot since then. Honestly, I didn’t foresee that at all. My soul is as pure as yours.

3. Apologies nations playing in World cup football, for one of my countrymen did this. On similar lines, if you are a proud Mallu, you better be prepared with explanations for this .

4. Apologies that person who studied Electronics for four years simply because your elder brother was a vague acquaintance of mine. Long back, your elder brother asked me whether you should opt for Electronics or Computers and I convinced him for Electronics just to see whether I could do that. I hope you are doing some kickass solid state physics work at Princeton. Fat chance though.

5. Apologies Berlin sky, for I have peed in open, right beneath your stars and inspired three others to do the same. While we are at it, apologies Miami sky too.

6. Apologies the interview candidate whom I rejected a few years ago. You sneezed on my hands and didn’t apologize. There is yet to be a study which reveals a correlation between bad manners and ability to crack complex algorithms. I suspect it to be positive, but clearly I got carried away with that fine gesture of yours.

7. Apologies Megan Fox, but I can’t marry you.

8. Apologies all those who were beaten up or appeared stark naked in my dreams. Although I seek redemption in the fact that more often than not, the victim has been me, myself. Megan dear, you belong to one of the two mentioned categories. Excluded from this apology is a fellow who was the only one to be murdered. Thrice.

9. Apologies person X, for, well, whatever.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Hello World

This poor thing has been starving for months. And so, here’s an update on what I was up to during this time. Not that I expect/wish/accept that anyone would care; it’s just that something must be written for the blog to be not declared dead and there’s nothing worthwhile brewing in my mind for the time being. So here’s the list of things I did in chronological order during this period of absence:

  1. Turning Thirty: Yes, pity me, but kindly keep the feelings to yourselves. No sympathies in comments, please. I know age is just a number, but that number right now is greater than 29, is twice that of 15 and it’s sad to think that I have an experience greater that of ten kindergarten kids combined. Henceforth, I fervently support replacing decimal system with hexadecimal; a respite for two more years. (If you didn’t get this, congratulations.)
  2. Visited Germany: Well, I mention the trip because it was fun and I was drunk for five consecutive nights and everyone in my neighborhood in Dewas knows that I have been to Germany. I must confess (with Desi pride), that I peed right below the stars in a Berlin street (it was 4 AM). Also, an empirical rule is that at any point of time, someone in Berlin is jogging.
  3. Visited Dewas and other nearby furnaces: A cousin got married in Jalgaon on the hottest day in memories of all those who were present at the wedding. Folks over there, in their infinite wisdom, have marriages at noon in the month of May. And so it happened that I danced on “Mangtaa hain to aa jaa rasiya” at 1 in the noon when the temperature was 49 degree Celsius. Later that day, we learnt that a groom in another wedding died due to heat while he was still sitting on the horse. That became the topic of discussion in the region for next two days and we all were really proud of our groom. Here's a shot of mango trees in our farm. The mangoes, although not fully ripe, were delicious.
  4. A Qualified Mathematician: Given what mathematics has done for me, it would have been a disgrace to die without a degree in the subject. I am now B.Sc. in Mathematics and Economics from London School of Economics. Please excuse me for reiterating: I am now B.Sc. in Mathematics and Economics from London School of Economics. With that, I am a bachelor three times over and none of the ways has been easy.

A lot more insignificant and/or secretive (nothing scandalous, sadly) events transpired during this period of absence, but let’s stop this self-indulgent show now. The number of 'I's in this post makes me shudder with shame.