Sunday, October 12, 2008

Don’t cry over spilt milk

Four babies are being born every second. Scientists at ISRO are toiling hard for nation’s first mission to moon this month. Rules are being rewritten in the finance world which is in a turmoil never witnessed since ‘The Great Depression’. Minissha Lamba is dropping her ‘Kidnap’ itsy-bitsy for ‘Maxim’.

Meanwhile, far-far away from all this excitement, on a lovely Sunday morning, yours truly is busy preparing morning cereal in a kitchen where little has changed since last two years. I take the milk-filled-till-the-brim bowl in living room and try to settle myself in the bean bag. Please don’t try this at your home. Milk spills on my T-shirt the moment my body has comfortable settled. I would have perhaps given a squeak if there had been an audience. But now I silently suffer. I decide to finish whatever is left in the bowl first before getting up to change the wet apparel.

Seconds later, the milk makes it presence felt on the skin on my stomach. ‘Milk is good for skin’ is what I cheer myself up with. Cleopatra bhi gadhe ke doodh se nahaati thi. I read this trivia long back in a ‘Ripley’s Believe it or not’ book gifted to me on the ninth birthday. I was disappointed to see it when I tore open the gift-wrap; was expecting a board-game. But that book did a lot of good to the kid who lived in an age where Doordarshan was his only eye to see the world.

I cringe at the memories of watching ‘Sangeet ka akheel Bhartiya Karyakarm’ and ‘Krishi Darshan’. ‘He-man’ was the epitome of entertainment. Sometimes I here people reminisce those days with fondness; nostalgia is all fine and dandy but I have a sound objection to the claims that Doordarshan-days were much better. Seriously!!! Just how dumb-sighted someone has to be to ignore the choices and improvement in quality of present times in favor of mind-numbingly boring and unimaginative pieces of crap served back then. Kids these days are way too cool . TV has a very important role in this evolution. And to all those who yap about degradation in morals and values, all I’ll say is that we were ignorant, not innocent.

Anyway, back in present tense, while the skin on my stomach is getting the care that Cleopatra was used to, the door bell rings. I ignore it. It works quite a few times. But the possessor of the hand on the bell is adamant. I know this must be one of the aunties who employ the same maid. The "chann-chann" sound of bangles confirms the fact.

“Who’s there?” I shout from within the bean bag with clear hint of irritation.
“Mrs. X. Did the bai come today?” yells Mrs X.
“No. I’ll send her to your place if she comes.” I say in a leave-me-alone tone.
“Ok. Pakka send her. I’ve to take my mother to ……” describes Mrs. X in a single breath.
A resigned “Yes” is what I manage. Mrs X. leaves after cribbing about the maid the maid to her heart's content.

I am not an antisocial lunatic who stays buried away from the big bad world outside. But this ‘Aaj bai nahi aai’ talk pisses me off to no end. Simply stated, I don’t share the same fascination for the topic. Again, not claiming to be a man of sophisticated taste, I admit to watching reruns of Big-Boss on You-tube and discuss the game-plan with like-minded people. But bai-talk is just not my cup of tea. Have told the aunties so many times that I don’t care if the maid doesn’t come, please don’t bother me. Even scolded one of the persistent aunties to not to knock on my door every other day. Strategies also include opening the door wearing just a towel. But, as the great king Singh sings in Singh is King “ Taan Lo Dus Banduke, Koyale Fir Bhi Kooke”, to no avail . Once she called me in the office while I was giving a presentation and even though I just said ‘Yes/No/OK’ during the conversation, the audience gave me a sympathetic look assuming me to be under some serious personal distress.

Well, such is life. Need to change my T-shirt now and move on. You know what they say:


Rashi said...

You're funny. Loved the video too.

TinTin said...

to matlab.. ghar ki maalkin ka bhi role nibhana pad raha hai aapko :)

video was good..

TinTin said...

What They Don't Teach You At Harvard Business School ... BAI management

Kanchan D said...

.... itna paisa mein itnaich milenga

contramental said...


Have been at your blog for a little while now. As part of some bloggers we are trying to open an open id e-zine and trying to rope in regular writers who would like to contribute. We are currently operating out of a blogger platform, doing a pilot run about how enthusiastic people would be. Would you be interested?

Marina D'Souza said...

Nice :)

Shruthi said...

Poor you. Can’t avoid such aunties. Not even in meeting rooms!
I feel Doordarshan helped us in one way. We played more often. As in we went out and played and made more friends, innit? No Pogo, no Cartoon network and other Jetix stuff. No tata sky to play ridiculous games. But yes some of their shows like the ones on pigs, buffalos were dreadful.

p.s The Pythons woke me up from my 4 o’ clock sleep. love this song of theirs. And spent rest of my 15 mins watching their silly interview and silly walk sketch. thanks for the song :)

BrownPhantom said...

I really appreciate your digging into an old post.
Yes, the Bai talk continues to harass me.
MP are Gods. Wathc their fottball sketch :).
Thanks a lot.

Shruthi said...

Totally agree with you. They are Gods! And yep, have watched the football one, Greece vs germany, right? hilarious! Have you watched Fawlty Towers? btw Sorry for ‘spamming’ your comments section :p

BrownPhantom said...

Yes , yes :).
Watch their movies if you could get a hand on them.
And be my guest please. Spamming in comments section is always encouraged :).

Shruthi said...

movies.. hmm. are they on youtube? I know fawlty towers is on youtube.