Saturday, December 18, 2010

My New Place

I am moving into a new house this decade end. It’s a little duplex, an independent two-bedroom house, not far from where I stay currently. At 900 sq feet plot area, it’s rather modest, but those with a propensity to exclaim “so cute” won’t find many reasons to hold the complement back.

There’s just about enough parking place for my little car in the front; then there is a hall, followed by stairs that lead up to a bedroom on the first floor which opens up to the terrace where I shall be spending mornings brushing teeth, and evenings, laying on a bean bag. The stairs are followed by a small kitchen and a room which opens up to a backyard that can accommodate four coffins in a two by two file.

I will finally un-wrap my television and put it in the hall, thereby ending nearly six years of forced abstinence. I am also going to fulfill the ambition of having a pet-fish. The fish-bowl too goes in hall. Somewhere in Bangalore there exists a fish yet to be christened Deember (While chatting with a friend about how different this December is, the “c” was missed and the result was immediately recognized to be an apt name for a squirrel).

Kitchen will have the usual things along with the only matchbox I have ever bought in Bangalore, six years ago. The matchsticks are still crisp, fully capable of burning, and have somehow mastered the art of reproduction inside the box.

The ground floor bedroom (the one with the creepy backyard), will be my supposedly-absurd-thoughts-room. It will have books and my personal laptop, but no internet connection or any timepiece. The room will largely be empty and devoid of any physical clutter.

After immense considerations, the internet connection goes to the first floor bedroom which will be my otherwise-normal-bedroom. (Wi-fi is not an option since the supposedly-absurd-thoughts-room must remain sacred). I didn’t check the attached bathroom of the first floor bedroom because by the time I was taken upstairs on the visit, I knew I was going to take the house, no matter what existed beyond the bathroom door. Besides, it’s too embarrassing to check the bathrooms in a house still inhabited by others. And the one of ground-floor had all things expected of a bathroom.

The current occupant (a colleague) and those in the know, emphasize the benefits of specially arranged security in the locality. At this stage of my life, security is the least of my concerns, but I still mention it when describing the place to friends/acquaintances and they nod their heads approvingly.

I kind of feel guilty towards the current place for being so eager to move out of it. This was my second house in the city. I have become so indifferent and condensing towards this place that I calculated the total rent I paid for the place. It’s nearly three hundred thousand.

All waiters in the area can predict my orders. The car-cleaner, maid and dhobi know me enough to look at me with pity. That’s one thing I got going for me. I am prone to be pitied upon, regardless of how I might be placed in various spheres. It’s an evolutionary trait perhaps.

There are quite a few schools in my current locality. I will miss watching poor kids rushing to school, mugging up on exam days; my daily dose of schadenfreude with a bit of nostalgia thrown in.

As I will move into the new place, I am bound to discover some drawbacks. The rain might be too noisy, there could be big fat rats (or even small ones), some new construction might begin in the area causing noise and dust, and so on and so forth. One negative that I have gauged already is that the neighborhood offers no chance of amusement or adventure.

My first house (in Gurgaon) allowed for hearing to the next-door twenty-something accusing his father of discouraging him at different stages in his life and the examples he used to cite were funny and deserve an entire blog-post.

We were thrown out of our next house from a posh apartment in Gurgaon because boys staying in the room next door used to make porn. We saw neither the porn, nor the actors. They were caught later on and the news was covered on Aaj-tak. Following that, Society Council pushed all the bachelors out.

We shifted to a nearby Society which employed a swimming pool supervisor with erratic timings. Our apartment didn’t offer the view to the pool. If the boys in the neighboring building, which offered the view to the pool, were out smoking in balcony, we used to infer (almost always correctly) that the pool is open.

Later I moved to Bangalore and have been staying on my own since then. My first house in Bangalore had three college going girls on the floor above. One fine day in March years ago, four girls knocked on my door and drenched me. We played Holi. They invited me to come along and I politely refused.

The next house, which is the current one, has pink walls, pink basin, pink tiles and pink toilet-seat. I was summoned to police station once when I had a drink-party with loud music on the terrace. The matter was solved “amicably”. And there are a few pretty faces around this place.

But the future house, on first inspection, offers nothing promising. The current occupant assured me that there is little to worry about and everyone is peaceful and all the houses have families with kids.

I will find solace in my supposedly-absurd-thoughts-room. And in Deember.


Shanu said...

Post pics of ur sacred room and Deember will u? :)

Good read :)

S said...

house in bangalore? :O
where? at what price?

ok ok.. living in bangalore.. i have gone thru this predicament of house hunting.. so can totally understand when u get an 'awesome' house :)
moving on..Deember is a 'cute' name :P Sacred room and all that, eh! the 'peaceful you' shouldn't sulk over the un-exciting surroundings of ur new house then :)

and yes! plz put up pictures :)

BrownPhantom said...

@Shanu and S,

Thanks :). I'll post the pics once I move in.

The "sacred" room is not to be taken literally :P; quite the contrary in fact. :)

Eveline said...

Hardee har!
Just wanted to say congrats on the new place and look forward to seeing how these new developments unfold. Good luck!

Minu said...

that indeed should be a great sense of achievement:)congrats!

V Rakesh said...

Good luck!

Neha said...

Congrats for a new place & WOW...yet to move in and already decided on what to put where. That Is great!

Do post pictures :)

BrownPhantom said...

Thanks Eve, Minu, Rakesh and Neha :).

Anonymous said...

Hey , i follow your blog and have pretty much read all your posts and i must say they are hilarious and i thoroughly enjoyed reading each one of them

Congratulations on your new home and Please do keep writing :)


BrownPhantom said...

Thanks Anon.
Your liberal use of "And"s reminds me of me :).

Anonymous said...

That was revealing. You sure have an eye for detail .I never realized the AND(ness) until you pointed it out..Learn something new everyday ;)


BrownPhantom said...


Takes one to know one. I have become conscious of the ANDness :).

Glad that you took on the identity of Anon in your signature. A definite improvement over Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

Prompt, witty with an amazingly sarci sense of humor. Brevity is another virtue..Sounds familiar?

I like being Anon ;)

BrownPhantom said...

No charm as enchanting as that of a winking Anon. (You better be of the opposite gender).

Anonymous said...

Lets hope facts are stranger than fiction :)

BrownPhantom said...

Anonymous said...

Point taken Genius, I rest my case. Economics is akin to asking a math atheist like me to divide some ugly irrational numbers.
I sound like i am campaigning for you but i must say that i think you are just brilliant.. Hope to see you in print some day.

Happy New Year and tc !

BrownPhantom said...

And I thought you work for an investment bank !!
Sorry for being a lil mean :P
Thanks a lot, you are too kind.
A very Happy New Year and take care :).

Minu said...

Prashant - you are indeed giving birth to another writer here! ;)

Anon - Did you ever contemplate to pen down? Sure you wouldbe charming!

Anonymous said...

Minu - Thanks, i never thought i had even the bare minimum to qualify as one..

PD - Moi making friends on your blog,Doh Je.
That comment if it was for me was an interesting start to an otherwise usual Monday morning.

Ankita Ghosh said...

Buzzing about in blogosphere and happened to stumble upon your blog.

Congratulations on the new finds (both the house and the potential writer - Anon)!

Rashmi said...

Hey, after really long i am dropping in have you been buddy?

Best wishes for the new house and a new beginning. Me too am moving to a new place so yes can really feel the description regarding the details :)Btw a very happy new year 2011.

Take care, keep in touch.

Anonymous said...

Yo! i'm still around ;)
dude when's your post coming on ?

- Anon

BrownPhantom said...

@Anon et al,

Shhh ! My Mom's her till month end.
And I still haven't procured internet at the new place.
Shall continue living the old fashioned way for a while.
March should see new posts.
Thank you all for dropping by.

Minu said...

Much awaited March is here- not for the budget reads- but for your blog reads!

I earnestly await :)

Minu said...

Much awaited March is here- not for the budget reads- but for your blog reads!

I earnestly await :)

Anonymous said...

Hope this lame attempt at poetry will trigger a post at the least

March is here
But your posts dont seem any near
Emtpy promises i hope not
So BP please bring on a post and clear the air!

- Anon ;)

BrownPhantom said...


Okay, so aren't you one and the same person?

Minu said...
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Minu said...

Re-Reading all the Anon, Prashant ,Minu,Anon comments consecutively, and you concluding that Anon and Minu are ‘ONE and the SAME’ gives some inferences:

1. Prashant- your wish of Anon being of opp sex gets fulfilled! I still feel Anon aein't one of the fairer sex. Anon you better not be-I look forward for the writer in "you" and I would love it if you are of the opp sex!

2. Usage of "Ands"! Do my humble beginnings of posts say so?

3. Investment bank! Ahem! Hell--I do,I do,I do! Profile page speaks for itself

4. Information asymmetry -Not with Minu! One of big mouth and big hand;) She is public – akin on radio and blog - Big mouth on radio, Big hand recently on the blog world. (Did I evoke your imagination - sorry duds!)

5. A Math atheist? Maths - Still remains my first love, till date, till death : )

BrownPhantom said...

Well, I meant the statement in a self-deprecating way. As in " How can there be more than one person waiting to read the blog" ?

Thanks a lot for all of your comments so far on so many posts :).

Minu said...

Math says - not one, but a good 124waiting to read it.

Literature says - Anon and self have explicitly expressed it;) or shamelessly? Or is it we both have nothing better to do? (Sorry Anon -this indeed is leveraging the usage of your 'Anon' identity and u can blame Phantom for the provocation ;)

History says - We simply love reading your posts and await for it

Geagraphy says - We could not meet you in person to tell that we are TWO DIFFERENT UNIQUE individuals